Show of hands: Is anyone else sick, sick, sick of the word "fusion"?

Over the weekend, a little "cooking moment" came on the radio. The lady with the soothing voice explained how simple it is to make Hot Cocoa...with a fusion of cinnamon.

Oh.

Please.

Since when is digging around in the cabinet for the tin of cinnamon, checking to make sure the expiration date is from this century, and then sprinkling a little too much in the mug (and scooping it back out, hoping the kiddos don't notice) called fusion?

Sigh.

Even my shampoo is in on the act.

I nearly dropped the bottle on my toe when I read: (name brand) Shampoo ... with a fusion of acai berries and satin.

There's satin in my shampoo? I don't think so...

Now that I have the bottle under suitably bright light, I can attest after carefully examining the long list of ingredients, neither acai berries nor satin made the cut.

But tretrasodium did.

Tetra means "four," right?

Buy our shampoo -- now with four times the sodium!

So...my shampoo is going to give me high blood pressure. Or make me retain water, even in the winter?

Great.

There's a happy ending to this. For me, anyway.

Will utterly detests buzzwords. Especially if they're overused and sound corporate.

So at our next marketing meeting, I'll build up to this exceptional idea I have for a new slogan. I'll get John and Mike in on the act, so they can grunt their approval when I admit to Will we've already conducted synergistic interfaces of this new brand concept. Notwithstanding. (It really helped us leverage our strategic relationship collaboratively this way.)

"Here it is Will: At Holiday World & Splashin' Safari, we serve up a fusion of fun!"

Then we'll sit back and watch his eyes grow round as saucers as he tries to figure out whether we're joking. He'll be wishing there existed integrated metrics to help him benchmark our, well ... innate ability for rotten-ness.

Merry Christmas, everyone!